recipe
May
16
2007

Home Sweet Home

So what is the quickest way to fall in love with home? Leave it. Even briefly. You know I have these “dreams” of living somewhere besides here. Anywhere besides here. I am beginning to believe it is just boredom taking over my imagination for a moment. Even when I make little shopping trips to the city ( a WHOLE 75 miles), I can be gone most of a day and all of the sudden I am homesick. I want to go home. To sit in MY chair. Use MY bathroom. Sleep in MY bed. Eat MY food. I am done…finished…through…ready to leave ASAP. So what in the world makes me think I can ever leave this place? I have before – again, briefly. I cried. I dreamed. I planned. I begged. To go home. So then I begin to wonder what makes it so. What makes me feel so very comfortable here? Because you know feeling a sense of “home” is all about comfort. Security. Familiarity. Contentment.

I do feel safe here. As safe as I would anywhere. I live outside a very small rural town. VERY small. VERY rural. So small and rural that the absolute biggest excitement is the fact that we are getting a Sonic Drive In. And rumor has it there are plans for a Super Walmart. Just what we need, a bigger Walmart. YUCK. A friend and I were just talking yesterday about what would happen to the local family owned grocery store if indeed a Super Walmart is built. Nothing I hope but I know better.

I love our little green house at the end of a dirt road. I love the privacy. The quiet. The cows across the road. I love my kitchen and my shoppe and our schoolroom. I love our cozy bedroom – one others might consider crowded but I like the fact that I have to squeeze beside the bed spread the covers up. I love my Granny Smith Apple Green bathroom. I love how red geraniums look against the pale green siding. I love the arbors over all our gates and the tiny pink fairy roses that cover them. I love our “secret sidewalk” that Husband found when he was doing some landscaping. That’s what Ben called it – he was about 4 I suppose and was thrilled with the rugged walkway Husband uncovered. I love the BIG oak trees and their gnarled roots. Especially this heart shaped one:

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What would it be like for no one to know me? What if I lived in a place where I couldn’t write a check without an ID? Or have a charge account at the grocery store? Or go to the grocery and not talk to almost everyone you see because you actually know them and they know you and they ask about your mom and your kids and your husband. And they know everything that has happened in the past two weeks and are truly interested. Or knew the law (that’s what we call it down here…The Law…as in policemen not as in legalities). Just this week I went into the jewelry store to pick up a ring I was having sized and a couple of birthday presents. I am 47+ years old. The ring I was having sized was a turquoise ring set in yellow gold that Husband gave me for Christmas the first year we were together. So nearly 33 years ago. When I was trying it on, Debbie (the owner of the jewelry store) says to me “I remember selling him this ring.” WHAT? No kidding. That was very cool. And of course we talked all about him being gone and where and when he’d be home and then she noticed I was wearing his wedding ring on a chain around my neck. I told her we just thought it was one of those “keep a low profile” decisions. Our wedding rings are inscribed in Hebrew and seeing as how 99% of the population of Tunisia is Muslim, we decided he’d leave it home. It may seem silly but they were told no American Flags on clothing etc…so we just took it a step further. Anyway…she tells me she has something that might replace it if he wanted to wear one. A tungsten steel carbine wedding ring. It is beautiful. And virtually scratch proof. Here is a picture:

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I think he will like it. It didn’t cost and arm and a leg and I plan on calling it a Father’s Day gift so he can’t argue with me about it.

How’s all that for getting side tracked!!! Sorry but it how my mind works. Weaving in and out of conversations, ideas, stories…no wonder I have trouble finishing things!

So back to the familiar aspect of home. I have lived here for all but two years of the past 33. So familiar is an understatement. I can’t begin to tell you how much I hated it here when my family moved here. One word – loathe. But…then I met The Man. And all was well with my world. So I have some very VERY fond memories of this place and know deep down I would miss it if we were to move. But if it ever happens I know also, my home is where he is, where we set up house. I know now at this age, I will feel home wherever Husband is.

I rambled on about all this to say Husband said something to me I never thought would come out of his mouth. “I LOVE AMERICA. I love the food – white bread and thick, juicy steaks. The abundance. The opportunity. The freedom. The technology. You think you know how good we have it seeing pictures and news from around the world. But you have to SEE it to appreciate it. ” Leaving it may make him patriotic after all. But probably not. He just misses home and its familiarity. And me and the children of course. I said to him, “You are never taking me to Europe, are you? I got a passport for nothing.” “NO, NO, I will.” he says. “But you would never want to live anywhere but where we live now. I can assure you of that. ” He’s probably right. He usually is.

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This is a sweet post! We live in a small-ish town that is growing. Super Wally World came a few years ago, Home Depot came last year and now Office Max is moving in. I do like some of the convenience of this (although I rarely go to Walmart any more) but I also sense change coming. More people means more crowding and problems. Ah, I guess that someone discovered that we live in a nice place and spread the word!

Susan , that was so very sweet..
i love the ring.. it’s very striking.. isn’t it?
I know you’ll be happy to have him back home with you.. especially with everything else going on..
I grew up in a very small town..lived there all my life..(til i married & moved off.. ) & loved the fact that i knew everyone..& everyone knew me..
It was very comforting.. Not the same town anymore though..It’s very strange to go go back.. Wish i could find “that” town again.. But at least you still have it.. & know how lucky you all are!!!

My love to your Mom!! & give yourself a hug from me!
Lots of love!
Kathie

Michelle

Amen to that sister…….. I wouldn’t trade this crazy little town of ours for anything. It’s a nice, peaceful place to raise our families. When we want to go to the “big city” it is an hour away, and then we can leave it and be back in our own quiet neck of the woods again. You can’t ask for much more than that.

I can relate so much to this sweet post. I grew up in a tiny little farming community, left 3 days after graduation and have been chomping at the bit to go back ever since. It is just home ~ I think everyone wants to go home. We are closer now, but can’t make the final move until the kids are grown. (We don’t want to move them again)
Home to me means contentment, family and long summer days.
Thanks for bringing it all back….

Jeny Edwards

This brought tears to my eyes. I wish everyone could feel the way you and your husband do about your home. I needed this right now, it’s so important to bring our lives into perspective. Thank you for your writings.

Leslie

Thanks for sharing . I grew up in CA suburbs, but now live in a small midwest town. We sure are anxious to get back home too when we visit the city (60 miles away).
I also enjoyed your post about you & your mom (’Perspectives”). I totally relate. My mom takes everything personally, was married to an alcoholic, & is the most condescending person on earth! ;) But I love her, & it is because she was so overwhelmed with some things in life that made me want to try them. I love change & a good challenge. Funny, I’m more satisfied than she is with life.
Blessings,
Leslie

My motto has always been, “Home is where you hang your heart.” and my heart has been hung in quite a few places! As the ex wife of a military man my heart hung all over Canada and back and now as the new wife of a Brit it hangs in the UK. I think I have left little pieces of my heart all over though because I still hold little loves of these various places and times in my heart and my soul.

Kim

Susan, I think of you every time we pass that Many sign on the interstate when visiting family. That part of the state is so lovely. I hope it stays that way!

Katya

I love the tungsten ring, and the boyfriend and I are shopping for wedding bands now. Did you get it in Tunisia or somewhere stateside?

Thanks!

Your town and home sound so cozy and comforting! And i’m mega drawn to the “heart tree”. Would it be okay to post the pik on my blog (credited to you of course)?

Paix, Wendy

[...] is making black and white photos for me to hang on that wall.  One will be of the heart shaped tree trunk in our yard.   It will be the biggest – probably have it enlarged to 11 x 17 or maybe a little bigger.  Then [...]