recipe
Oct
12
2007

Things Will Never Be The Same

But you know, they never are.  We got thru the planning stage and the actual funeral without one problem. My brother next to me and I met at the funeral home on Tuesday morning and we were in and out in about an hour.  Most of Mom’s planning had been done shortly after my dad passed.  Then we went on to the florist and picked out flowers for her casket piece.  We decided on fall foliage and pumpkins and squash (faux of course).  It turned out beautifully and so many people commented on how it looked “just like Mom”…she loved Autumn and her home reflected that…lots of orange and yellow and brown.  I think I will pick it up this evening from the graveside so it doesnt get messed up and I can take all the parts and make something for each of us out of it.

The wake was Wednesday night from 5-7 for the public but my baby brother couldnt get in before 8:30 so we hung around and waited for him.  This is going to be very difficult for him.  He didnt see Mom as much as I did.

Then the service was on Thursday Morning at the chapel of the funeral home.  Our friend who did her eulogy did a great job.  Just what she wanted.  Short and sweet.

Last night my brothers and I sat down and read her “notebook” which contained her handwritten will. Things could not have gone better.  We all agreed to take all this slowly and make it as painless as possible.  She had many personal items listed that she wanted each person to have.  We will see that those are honored.

I dont know when I will get back to my regular blogging.  I do want to do a give away soon.  You all have been so faithful to read and comment on this very difficult time in my life.  And though I don’t know most of you, I appreciate your kindnesses and the time you spend here.   I have to take time to let myself grieve even though it seems the grieving started months ago.  Knowing a person is dying and the actual event have affected me completely differently and quite frankly, I thought, as most of us probably do, that I was better prepared.

Now we go on from here…knowing things will never be the same.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

I am so thankful that things are going smoothly for your and your family, now after the services.

I could not imagine going through all of this right now if it were my mother.

I think that it is good that you guys are taking your time about handling the things left to do now. You do need to take the time to rest, reflect, and ponder what the future holds now.

Please take all the time you need before getting back to regular blogging. I am thankful that you are letting us know how you are doing. Please check in again when you can.

Much love and prayers,
Pat

Joan

Loving thoughts to you and your family. Thanks for sharing about the funeral–it feels like a way to have been there & honored you mom even though I only knew her through you. Share your grief whenever you wish. I’m sure that I’m not the only one who will be here ready to listen.
Joan

Christiane

Many hugs for you, Susan…

Mary Defee

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

Mary D in Texas

I was glad to hear from you today. It sounds like the funeral went well and as your Mum would have wanted. It’s a lovely idea to make something else out of the flowers.
I think it’s never the same knowing that someone is dying to the actual loss itself. How can we prepare ourselves for such a sad loss even in the face of that knowledge- I certainly don’t know. You will feel differently over time, but you know that. Hugs from Scotland.

just a little reminder to be gentle with yourself in the coming days. grief is a journey and a path we all travel in different ways. your’s will be right for you.
i’m continuing to hold you close in my thoughts and prayers!

Take your time. May God keep you all in His hands through this hard times. I will remember you in my thoughts.

jemappellebretagne

Hello,
My name is Brittany. I know you don’t know me but know that you aren’t alone in this suffering and pain.

My family just recently lost my Uncle David unexpectedly. Although I don’t know you or your situation, you’re definitely not alone.

I’ll be praying for you and your family.

Much Love In Christ (MLIC),
-Brittany

andylynne

Sounds as if you have gone through the past several days with lots of love and support. Grief comes in stages and writitng about it sometimes helps so very much. Gods blessings on you and your family. You honor your mom with your fond memories.

Praying for comfort and peace for you all.

I hope that this transition continues to go as smoothly as possible. I will be praying for you and yours.

Take as much time as you need. It is different for everyone, I have learned. I lost my father 6 years ago and I still think of him and miss him almost every day. This year I’ve lost 3 in-laws (mother, father and stepmother). So much grieving still to be done.

You and your siblings just need to help each other and get through it in your own way.

P.S. I’m so glad that things have gone smoothly. That is a blessing.

May your dear mother rest in peace and may God bring comfort to your heart.

I keep you in my daily prayers. I know what it feels like to lose a parent..and you are right..it will never be the same..BUT..you were such a great daughter for her…and it sounds like things are going as smooth as they can. Take care of yourself. WE love you!!

mariealicejoan

As ever you are all in my prayers. No, things will never be the same again, but with time the pain will ease and you will be able to sit and fondly remember special moments with a warmth and love that is very treasured indeed. Right now you are aching and it’s not so easy to remember without it feeling raw. It sounds like you all have a very good relationship with each other and that you all loved your mom very much. (((HUGS))) That is a blessed treasure.

Susan, lots of love, hugs and prayers for you and your family. I am sorry for your loss. It is a beautiful reflection of your mother how loving and gentle you and your siblings are towards each other. I too often hear of the opposite.
I am so glad you have so many friends in this community to lift you up and carry you through this time.
~Blessings
Bonnie

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I’ve been where you are and no it to be a long healing process. Your brothers and sisters will be your rocks, each for the other. Bless you all.

Annie

What others have said about grieving being a journey is so true. Both of my parents have passed. My Dad, 19 years, my Mom, 5. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t think of them and miss them still. Losing Dad was tough, but when Mom died, everything changed.

That song “Life’s about changes, nothing ever stays the same” really hits home.

My heart goes out to you. Thank goodness you have wonderful support around you.

Keeping you in my prayers,

Ann

I understand what you mean when you say about knowing someone is dying and the actual dying being quite different. And how you thought you would be more prepared than you were.

Those were also my experiences.

I don’t think anyone can ever be prepared or know how they will feel.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Janet K.

I truly believe you can never be really prepared for the death of a loved one, no matter what the circumstances. Be gentle with yourself and take time with your family. Thanks for sharing and reminding us that in the big things in life we all have much in common. Take care and God Bless. Janet

just checking in to let you know that you i continue to carry you in my heart and lift you up in prayer!

Hugs to you and yours.

Erica Ferguson

The night before your mom passed I had a dream about my Grandfather that I lost just a year ago. He was putting together a celebration because one of God’s children was coming home. The next day I went and saw my Grandmother who is starting to deteriorate from dementia and strokes. At the time I was holding your family in my thoughts and thinking about the stress of what you were going through. You are a great example of what God would like for all of his children to be, kind and compassionate and loving. I know that the angels are rejoicing because they have your mom with them wrapped in your love and that of your family. Peace be with you and your family as you go through this time of grief. All of you will be held close in our thoughts and our prayers.

Laura in Mo

God bless!
Laura

Deanna

Susan,
I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family during these difficult days.

God Bless,
Deanna

Ann

Susan, I also pray for you daily, and send loving thoughts your way. You and your siblings seem to be dealing with this as a family so well… what a blessing.
Love,
Ann (Phils Ann)

Sue

It’s hard, I know, I lost my Mom over a year ago, it was her time and I can find comfort in knowing in knowing she is at peace. I hope you can find the same comfort and treasure the memories, she will always be with you. Hugs!!