recipe
Nov
09
2008

Blogging From The Heart

I spend much more time reading other people’s blogs than I do writing on my own.  I suppose that is a good thing.  Really, how could I possibly have that much to say! I read all sorts of blogs.  Craft blogs, homemaking blogs, homeschooling blogs, political blogs.  I look for blogs from places I would like to visit or live one day, though I doubt at my age that whole moving thing will ever happen.  I am always struck by how people can “blog from the heart” in such a seemingly easy manner.  Sharing intimate details of their lives like they are talking to their very best real life friend.  And as much as I am an “hey, here I am and this is what I think” in real life, not so much on my blog.  Unless you talk to me in real life you will not know my religious views, political views, personal problems and probably not much of my personal triumphs.  Sharing my mother’s cancer diagnosis and death and the year that has followed has been difficult and I have been very guarded in what I said.

Ten years ago, maybe even 5 years ago, I would have/could have sat down at this keyboard and spilled my guts.  My kids swear its because I have been spayed (yes, I had a hysterectomy a couple of years ago).  They think somehow the removing of my female internal organs, has calmed me.  And evidently tremendously.  I prefer to think I have just wised up.  So few battles are worth fighting much less sharing.  For some reason as I have aged my tolerance for controversy has very much waned.  I used to be known more for my love of it.  The controversy, I mean.  I use to could stir a pot of controversy with great fervor and enthusiasm.  Now I would just as soon not know there is any.  I am quicker to apologize than anger these days.  I adopted a policy of thinking before speaking (you have no idea how hard that has been) and really thinking about what I say to people.  I have learned my way isn’t the only way and at times is not even the good way.  You know, you truly do not know if the last conversation you have with people with be the very last conversation you have with them. So I try now to choose my words and their sentiments carefully.  I don’t mean to give the impression that I am a pushover or peacemaker.  That would be inaccurate as well.  In fact, to find out my true colors, wrong one of my children or say something derogatory against Husband.  I can be a Mama Lion at the drop of a word or two.  And quite frankly will likely never forgive a serious offense.  One directed at me…yes.  Really who cares what people say about or do to me?  I am a grown woman.  I honestly don’t care.  There are only 7 people on this earth that can truly hurt my feelings. Husband and my six children and I know none of them would do it deliberately.  That is just not how we treat each other.  Each one of my children is unique in personality and temperament.  They run the spectrum of religions, politics, social issues.  They argue their beliefs with great passion and at times great volume.  Be it good or bad, we have raised them to think for themselves.  Not to be swayed by what is popular or convenient.  But to act according to their own conscience.  This has had varying degrees of success. But at the end of the day they are all friends as well as siblings so that is success enough I suppose.  And they are a team.  Do not ever make the mistake of wronging one of them and letting the other five find out.  Even as their mother, I cannot be responsible for what happens.  But please believe it will not be pretty. And whether that sibling happens to be right or wrong is irrelevant.  Blood is thicker than water as they say.

I was on the phone with Son #2 yesterday, as I am every day.  He works away from home and he calls me at least once a day to check in.  Yes he is married, and no he is not a mama’s boy.  He loves his family and wants to say in touch.  Anywho, I mentioned to him that a young man at work had been kinda coming on to Hannah.  Asking her to go places and this young man is not her type.  She is not interested.  She is very kind to him and doesn’t want to be mean.  We all know there is a thin line between being kind and being unable to get the “not interested” part across.  So #2 Son says “I will be home in a few days and I will take care of that little problem.”  Did I mention he is FAR more protective of these girls than I even could be?  I assured him she was handling it just fine and if she needed his help she would let him know.  I doubt he heard that part.

As we enter into the Autumn and Winter of this year, I look forward to gathering my family together around my big kitchen table and eating and conversing.  Husband will be home the 20th and the festivities will begin shortly thereafter.  We will begin planning our holiday meals and working our schedules as to not interfere with in-law’s plans.  Somewhere in there Husband will have his surgery for ulnar neuropathy.  So undoubtedly, the next couple of months will present me with subjects to share here.

I don’t think I ever shared that my mom’s house sold and the new owners are moving in this week.  I saw lights on over there last night.  It was very weird to think about someone else living in that house.  I am not sure I feel as “okay” with it as I thought but its a done deal and I have to move on.  I think it has been very hard for me to “live my own life” this past year.  I think that has been what is holding me back and keeping me from creating and being productive.  I always stuck my life around in spaces left over from my parents’ life.  Taking care of them was a privilege, one that wore me to a frazzle sometimes, but now that season is over and I have to find a way to get back on track and accomplish things on my own.  I really am working towards opening my etsy shoppe soon.  But won’t share exactly what will be there.  For one, I dont know!  For two, I don’t want to get my cart before my horse, you know?

Have a wonderful day! And watch carefully…there will be a giveaway SOON!!!


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What a thoughtful post. Like you I seldom mention my personal beliefs about religion, politics or hot topics. I spent the last seven months recuperating from exhaustion and stress and have learned to let more of life’s “stresses” not stress me. I love your blog even though I’m more of a lurker than a commenter.

“I prefer to think I have just wised up. So few battles are worth fighting much less sharing. ”

AMEN!

as i have reached “a certain age” i find the above to hold more and more truth for me………and while i will probably tilt at windmills until i die, i’m certainly more laid back about it all.

laura

I’m not sure how I got here…it was about 8 hours ago and quite possibly it was in search of a coconut pie receipe.
Anyway I read a few of your posts and found one of the many where your husband was enroute to Tunisia. Oh how it hit home. Mine left for Durban, South Africa yesterday. The outbound routing this time was Atlanta-NYC-Senegal-Johannesburg-Durban. Like you I go crazy until he calls me safe from his hotel. I plan things to do but instead end up mostly in bed trying to sleep the time away. Once he is there I miss him but life can go back to normal until he gets on the plane to come home again;and then it is back to bed for me! I am by no stretch of the imagination a cook (although I love reading receipes),a seamstress, an arts and crafts person, etc. but I did love reading about all the above. Thanks for making life easier for a fellow Southerner for a little while.

Well thank you for sharing your lovely blog from the heart with us all today. I enjoyed reading it very much. You have a lovely family and I enjoy reading about your adventures and your wonderful recipes.

Blessings,

Sher

HI, Susan! I’ve not been by in a while, and so glad I did to see this wonderful post you have written…very much from the heart! :o ) Thank you for sharing so many thoughts and feelings. You sound like you are very much in transition, so much has been happening, so much still happening…Perhaps seeing the new lights on in your parents old house is a sign. Light can mean good things. That house has life in it again, which is a good thing. And you have many good memories of the place. You have your own lights now, your own fires to stoke…Perhaps now is YOUR time…and may you dwell in each moment with peace, harmony, freedom and joy! :o ) Happy days to you & yours ((HUGS)) Thanks so much for stopping by to see me, and for your lovely comments. :O)

Deanna

Beautifully and brilliantly said.

Have a very good day today!
Deanna :)

Thank you for sharing with all your readers. Best wishes on the new shop.

Julia

What a nice post. I liked the part about Mama Lion. My motto has always been, “You can mess with me and I might let it slide, but DON’T mess with my kids!” Maybe it’s a Louisiana thing.

I hope you will have many peaceful, happy times with your family during the holidays and after.

whitakerworld

Just saying hi. We didn’t finish the mall today so we are going back tomorrow. All we did was find clothing for the girls. Talk soon!

Great post! Wonderful how you are finding who you are and are not. Life is a journey, and as I age I find myself more like me each and every day.

My oldest son is much like yours in the protective way. He wants more than anything for his brothers to be well treated.

Thanks for sharing the journey about your parents. I think many are dealing like me with this. It is something that wears me out daily, I wish with every cell that I was more attentive more energetic but there is only one of me.

I really liked your post, very well written, and I love your blog.
Sending you hugs and blessings.

Well written post Susan. I always love coming to your page and seeing what you have for us. I guess I am a spill your guts kind of blogger. Not everyone’s cup of tea, I know, but I do enjoy it.