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Archive for the ‘A Little of That’ Category

Nov
09
2008

Blogging From The Heart

I spend much more time reading other people’s blogs than I do writing on my own.  I suppose that is a good thing.  Really, how could I possibly have that much to say! I read all sorts of blogs.  Craft blogs, homemaking blogs, homeschooling blogs, political blogs.  I look for blogs from places I would like to visit or live one day, though I doubt at my age that whole moving thing will ever happen.  I am always struck by how people can “blog from the heart” in such a seemingly easy manner.  Sharing intimate details of their lives like they are talking to their very best real life friend.  And as much as I am an “hey, here I am and this is what I think” in real life, not so much on my blog.  Unless you talk to me in real life you will not know my religious views, political views, personal problems and probably not much of my personal triumphs.  Sharing my mother’s cancer diagnosis and death and the year that has followed has been difficult and I have been very guarded in what I said.

Ten years ago, maybe even 5 years ago, I would have/could have sat down at this keyboard and spilled my guts.  My kids swear its because I have been spayed (yes, I had a hysterectomy a couple of years ago).  They think somehow the removing of my female internal organs, has calmed me.  And evidently tremendously.  I prefer to think I have just wised up.  So few battles are worth fighting much less sharing.  For some reason as I have aged my tolerance for controversy has very much waned.  I used to be known more for my love of it.  The controversy, I mean.  I use to could stir a pot of controversy with great fervor and enthusiasm.  Now I would just as soon not know there is any.  I am quicker to apologize than anger these days.  I adopted a policy of thinking before speaking (you have no idea how hard that has been) and really thinking about what I say to people.  I have learned my way isn’t the only way and at times is not even the good way.  You know, you truly do not know if the last conversation you have with people with be the very last conversation you have with them. So I try now to choose my words and their sentiments carefully.  I don’t mean to give the impression that I am a pushover or peacemaker.  That would be inaccurate as well.  In fact, to find out my true colors, wrong one of my children or say something derogatory against Husband.  I can be a Mama Lion at the drop of a word or two.  And quite frankly will likely never forgive a serious offense.  One directed at me…yes.  Really who cares what people say about or do to me?  I am a grown woman.  I honestly don’t care.  There are only 7 people on this earth that can truly hurt my feelings. Husband and my six children and I know none of them would do it deliberately.  That is just not how we treat each other.  Each one of my children is unique in personality and temperament.  They run the spectrum of religions, politics, social issues.  They argue their beliefs with great passion and at times great volume.  Be it good or bad, we have raised them to think for themselves.  Not to be swayed by what is popular or convenient.  But to act according to their own conscience.  This has had varying degrees of success. But at the end of the day they are all friends as well as siblings so that is success enough I suppose.  And they are a team.  Do not ever make the mistake of wronging one of them and letting the other five find out.  Even as their mother, I cannot be responsible for what happens.  But please believe it will not be pretty. And whether that sibling happens to be right or wrong is irrelevant.  Blood is thicker than water as they say.

I was on the phone with Son #2 yesterday, as I am every day.  He works away from home and he calls me at least once a day to check in.  Yes he is married, and no he is not a mama’s boy.  He loves his family and wants to say in touch.  Anywho, I mentioned to him that a young man at work had been kinda coming on to Hannah.  Asking her to go places and this young man is not her type.  She is not interested.  She is very kind to him and doesn’t want to be mean.  We all know there is a thin line between being kind and being unable to get the “not interested” part across.  So #2 Son says “I will be home in a few days and I will take care of that little problem.”  Did I mention he is FAR more protective of these girls than I even could be?  I assured him she was handling it just fine and if she needed his help she would let him know.  I doubt he heard that part.

As we enter into the Autumn and Winter of this year, I look forward to gathering my family together around my big kitchen table and eating and conversing.  Husband will be home the 20th and the festivities will begin shortly thereafter.  We will begin planning our holiday meals and working our schedules as to not interfere with in-law’s plans.  Somewhere in there Husband will have his surgery for ulnar neuropathy.  So undoubtedly, the next couple of months will present me with subjects to share here.

I don’t think I ever shared that my mom’s house sold and the new owners are moving in this week.  I saw lights on over there last night.  It was very weird to think about someone else living in that house.  I am not sure I feel as “okay” with it as I thought but its a done deal and I have to move on.  I think it has been very hard for me to “live my own life” this past year.  I think that has been what is holding me back and keeping me from creating and being productive.  I always stuck my life around in spaces left over from my parents’ life.  Taking care of them was a privilege, one that wore me to a frazzle sometimes, but now that season is over and I have to find a way to get back on track and accomplish things on my own.  I really am working towards opening my etsy shoppe soon.  But won’t share exactly what will be there.  For one, I dont know!  For two, I don’t want to get my cart before my horse, you know?

Have a wonderful day! And watch carefully…there will be a giveaway SOON!!!


Nov
06
2008

Thoughtful Thursday: 10 Thoughts on Whole Living

This found its way to my inbox this morning.  Thank you Kim.  I needed this.

Ten Thoughts on Whole Living

1. Rediscover the pleasure of a snowy (rainy, cloudy) day.

2. Food has the power to transform.
Choose yours intentionally.

3. Let your soul weigh in on your decisions.

4. Don’t rush positive change.
The best kind comes gradually.

5. When you indulge, stop to savor every taste.

6. Each day has its small successes—take time to
celebrate them.

7. Beauty reflects self-care. Let yourself glow.

8. Your body craves motion. Allow it to flow in harmony with
your breath.

9. Instead of seeking love, see it—–everywhere.

10. Greet every day with a ritual
of gratitude and strength.

Oct
08
2008

WOW what a Wednesday

This was one weird day.  First of all you all know we are TRYING to close on my mom’s house.  I wont even tell you all the things that are going amiss with that…too many to think about.  And today was Husband’s MRI on his arm.  We get there at 1:30 – appt was at 2:00.  We tell the flitty little person at the admit desk who we are, why we are there and that we are pre-registered.  Okay she says, it will be a few.  Few what??? OHHHH HOURS!!! See flitty little person at the admit desk doesnt actually hear what a person is saying to her she just knows whatever it is she is to say “Okay.  It will be a few.”  After about an hour I wanted to go up and “get things straight” and Husband says “calm down”…which went over about like you would expect it to.  And by the end of the day – 6:30 after we find out that — they give his appt to someone else because no one knows he’s there and then they get the look and the talking to I had well prepared, they attempt to do the MRI and the MACHINE BROKE!  So…after spending a day sitting and waiting – like we had nothing better to do, we came back home to supposedly go back Friday.  Supposedly.

Believe me this is the reader’s condensed version.  It was a LONG day.  But after looking back we decided it wasnt so bad.  We spent the day together and had only one little tiff about me “not calming down” and getting a Kroger gift card out of the head honcho at the imaging place, it could have all been worse.  And I had to say after we were in the truck on the way home, I looked at the clock and it was almost 7 pm.  My mom passed away just after 7 pm a year ago tonight so, yeah, this wasnt the worst October 8th I have ever had.  At least this October 8th I spent the day with my Husband instead of watching my mom take her last breath.  Perspective is a beautiful thing.

I have shared this picture before but I wanted to again.  This is me and my mom about 48 years ago.