pray, love, remember

This is an addition to things I had previously written.

We have carried on with our lives and now 12 years have passed since we were made aware of the tragedy at The World Trade Center, The Pentagon and in a field in Pennsylvania.

I put my husband on a plane yesterday afternoon to go literally half way around the world.  I try not to worry about him flying because it does no good for me to worry.  He is still going to work.  And the only way to get work is to fly.  So there you have it.  I can feel anxious and uneasy but worrying is just a waste of time.  I have an extremely busy day today so that will help.  He won’t actually be at work until Thursday so he has lots of connections and flights to make.

I wish you all love and peace as you remember those lost on this day 12 years ago. It seems like yesterday in some respects.



From September 11, 2011

This is something I wrote two years ago.  I have such mixed feelings about all the things that transpired that day and the days and now years (can it really be 10 years?)  after.  It is hard for me to believe it has been this long.  Some of it seems like yesterday.  Some things seem to be overly publicized and I wonder how the families feel about being reminded almost constantly.  What am I thinking?  They don’t need reminding.  I am sure very few minutes go by that they don’t think of it. I think it’s still very painful to think about for most everyone. So really I can’t imagine how they must feel.  I wonder if the sense of loss ever goes away.  When something so senseless happens it must be harder.

As the anniversary approaches and knowing Jerry has to get on a plane tomorrow, the 12th, I know one thing: I hope I never know how they feel.  Lots of chatter and news coverage of “what might happen” makes me anxious and mad at the same time.  Mad that I let the media manipulate my feelings like I do. Sometimes I think I hear disappointment in some voices when there is really no big tragedy to report.  It’s like they are agitated that something else didn’t happen.  I hope they continue to sound that way.  Sensationalism is quite the norm.  And mostly why I ‘read’ the news now.  I can’t listen to the lilt in their voices when they speak of 9-11-01 or Katrina and now Irene. Or the excitement in their voices when there is impending doom.  And then the sadness when it is averted.

So I am feeling a bit melancholy today.  And I don’t want to feel this way. I want to enjoy the last few hours Jerry is home for this hitch.  It will be hard to see him leave, though I know he has to.  It is the life we chose. Hopefully his time gone will pass quickly and then soon enough we will be off on our belated anniversary trip.  I hope everyone is with the ones they love tonight.  Appreciate them.  Hug them.  No one, NO ONE, knows what tomorrow brings or takes away.  Life is too short if you live to be 100.


From my blog Sept 11, 2009

pray, love, remember

The whole quote is quite beautiful and from Hamlet ~ not my favorite of his plays, but a lovely quote just the same.

“There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray, love, remember: and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts.” ~ William Shakespeare

Every year on this date, I think about exactly where I was, the very minute I heard the first report of “some sort” of plane crash in NYC.  I have never written about this on my blog because, well, its just not the kind of thing I write about.  Not because it is sad.  I wrote extensively about my mother’s illness and death.  Not because I don’t think it worth writing about.  It most certainly is.  I think its because I still 8 years later don’t know quite what to say.  How I feel about it.  How it changed everything.   I didn’t know anyone killed that day.  I never really felt any sort of imminent threat against my person or my family.  I felt many things.  Shock. Fear. Anxiousness.  Sadness.  Anger. Thankfulness. Responsibility.  I think everyone felt something.  Even the coldest of hearts had to be touched that day, to some small degree.  I still have questions I don’t feel like anyone will or can answer.  But that is not the subject of this post.  I very seldom talk about 9-11-01 with anyone, even family. I suppose it seems to some that I have a strange brand of loyalty/patriotism and quite likely, that is true.  Before I get off on the wrong foot, let me say I am very patriotic.  I believe I live in a wonderful, diverse country that people died to build and preserve and are still dying for.  Words can never express my gratitude for those people.  And on 9-11-01,  I loved the way people came together, across political, racial, religious, economic lines.  They all just wanted to be Americans.  I am sad it didn’t last very long. I believe my beloved country is as divided today as it ever has been.  But what do I know?  My world is very finite.

Let me talk about something I do know ~ my story of 9-11-01.

Jerry  was at a work-related school and I had gone with him, like I often do, just to spend some time with him. We had taken both vehicles because I had not intended on staying all week.  The evening of the 10th we were to meet another couple for supper when his truck started acting up. I honestly can’t remember what went wrong but we decided we would call Nathan and have him come down and he and I tow the truck home.  Then I would meet him somewhere half way at the end of the week.  He could ride back and forth to class with a co worker.  So it was settled, Nate came down, he and Jerry got the truck ready to tow and the next morning,  we headed home, which was about 3 to 3 1/2 hours away.  The three younger children ages 5, 8 and 12 were staying with my parents.  The two oldest were no longer living at home.

We got on the road headed home and we stopped just outside of town to get gas and something to drink.  While Nate pumped gas, I went in for drinks.  I walked in got two bottles of water out of the cooler at the back of the store and walked up to the counter.  The girl behind the counter just stood there looking at me.  She had the strangest look on her face.  My first thought was “OH NO! I have walked in to a robbery.” So I carefully looked around and no one else was in the store.  So I said to her “Are you okay?” She says “We’ve been attacked.” Those were the first words out of her mouth.  ”Whose been attacked?” I asked.  ”We have.” and she pointed to the television that was on behind her.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  There was an image of smoke billowing out of what I recognized, eventually, as the World Trade Center.  She still hasn’t said anything.  So I asked her if she would please let me pay so I could go.  I think my first thought was “I have to get home.”  I couldn’t wrap my mind around what I was seeing.  What was happening? Or who had done it.  Surely it was just an accident.  Nonetheless, I needed to get home.  I walked out the door as Nathan walked up to it.  I said “Get in, there’s been a plane crash in New York.”  He looks at me like I am nuts and says “and?”. JUST GET IN.  So we get in our separate vehicles and the minute our radios come on, we both realize its not just a plane crash.  Immediately, as I am pulling out onto the highway, I call my mom on my cell and tell her to not turn on the TV till I get there.  She tells me it was on, she knows what is going on (which is more than I know), she turned it off and she will keep the kids from knowing anything until I get home.  Knowing anything about what I wondered.

I still hadn’t really realized what had happened.  I turn on NPR and Nathan and I are talking on our cells to each other fairly often along the way.  Just feeling so, I don’t know, not really disoriented but something close to that.  I am still thinking to myself even after the second plane hit that it was something phenomenal, not deliberate.  Then the radio tells me a plane has hit the Pentagon.  That changed everything.  What hadn’t sunk in before that moment, came crashing down on me.  I didn’t know who was doing this.  Or why they were doing this.  All I was certain of was it was with purpose and a big set of cojones. Who flies a plane into the Pentagon? I knew at that moment, nothing else I heard that day would shock me. I drove as fast and safely as I could to get home.  No matter what else happened I needed to be with my kids.  In the meantime, Husband had called me a few times.  And we didn’t know what to say really.  Be careful.  Love you.  Talk to you again in a little while.  We were just so shocked.  I made it home safe and sound and began explaining, as best I could, to the three younger ones what had happened.  What was happening.  For days we sat in front  of the TV not able to concentrate on much else.  I just knew my kids’ world would never be the same.  Some of the innocence we took for granted was gone.

Now here we are 8 years later.  Many things have changed.  We still talk about it but very seldom.  And about the things that transpired as a result of it.  Why we think it happened.  Wonder if it could have been prevented.  Deciding, probably not and wondering, not if, but when we will have to deal with terrorism in our country again. We wonder if it will be some outside group perpetrating the attack or if we will hear news of another story of domestic terrorism like the Oklahoma City bombing.

If you were sitting at my kitchen table, I might subject you to one of my sermons, tirades, commentaries along the lines of an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, but on my blog, this morning, the anniversary of the death of thousands of human beings who were killed not because of an act of God, or force of Nature, but at the hands of people filled with hate, that would be disrespectful of their memories. May they rest in peace.


Here we go again!

Today is one of several travel days for Jerry. I thought he just got home But it is time to head West to end up East. Yeah, it confuses me too. I hate travel days. I worry about flying, even though I am about to head out in a couple of weeks myself – I am staying in country. Tomorrow is September 11. Which is a silly thing to even think about. When I said it to him he says “But Friday is the 13th!” Okay. Thanks for that. We are mostly picking because him leaving is not easy on either of us. Harder on him of course because he is the one leaving. But he trusts me to hold down the fort. Keep things running. And in order (haha). And the older I get the more likely that is misplaced trust! But we have city water now so that might be one thing I don’t have to worry about working on. He has the raised beds tilled so IF we ever get rain I will plant before I leave for girlcation. If not, I will plant as soon as I get home. Next hitch home will be insanely busy. InSANE. So I am off of here to spend a couple more hours with him. Did I mention I hate travel days?

I am trying my best to keep up posting.  Thanks for forgiving my lapses.


Autumn here I come!

Every time I open Facebook or check on blogs I read regularly, I see that Autumn is beginning to show itself.  Well everywhere, it seems, but here.  We are still in the throws of Summer.  Horrible, hot, humid Summer.  I am not going to say I loathe Summer.  Without it would I appreciate Autumn? Or Winter.  I happen to love cold weather.  Well Louisiana cold weather.  I am not sure how I would handle real Winters.  But, frankly, I am willing to try.  I have all but given up on ever living anywhere but 899.


Not that this isn’t a lovely little corner of the Earth.  There are so many people who would trade places with me.  Almost the end of a dirt road, 4 miles from town, three acres surrounded by pastures and cows and woods and a creek and ponds full of Canadian Geese that Winter here.  And now we have city water so we can keep all our lovely plants and garden watered when we are in the middle of a drought like we are now.

AND it is a wonderful place to gather family and friends.  Which is exactly what we did yesterday. It was great.  We got to see all our children plus Grandson Sam.  Jerry made the most amazing Chicken Marsala.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE curry and this was just the right amount of heat and spice.  Perfection.  I will get his recipe and share it later.  And I made two coconut cream pies.  One gluten FULL one gluten free :)


Middle son and his wife didn’t stay and eat because they have a new addition to the family:


Meet Zoe – isn’t she adorable??

They needed to get Zoe to her new home and get her settled and we have an incident from a few years back (we will never forget) with one of their doggies and one of our kitties.  Let’s just say stitches were involved and if the cat had wanted to kill the dog, it would/could have. Charlie (little maltipoo I think) had barked and chased and barked and chased all afternoon.  Mo was his target.  Mo was at least twice his size/weight and had never really been around a little barking dog before.


Bear in mind Mo was our pirate kitty who lost an eye so his defenses were always up. And a real sweetheart.  Calm and docile.  But you know, you can only push so far, till you get pushed back. Well, son and DIL were getting ready to leave and I suppose Mo decided to send Charlie home with a message about the barking and chasing. He came from under a bush, seemingly from nowhere, rolled the doggie twice and the encounter lasted maybe 6-8 seconds.  Charlie started yelping and shaking and immediately his white fur was no longer white.  He was bleeding profusely.  We grabbed him up, ran to the bathroom with him, washed his cuts and immediately realized it was way past anything we could do for him.  So off to the doggie emergency room.  SOOOO, that whole story was to say son and DIL called when they got close and ask that we put Angus up for a few minutes so we could all meet little, bitty, sweet Zoe. She’s precious and makes me sorta kinda want a dog.  But just sorta.  I am a cat person.  I love my cats.

OH YEAH!  This post was about Autumn.  And me going to it instead of it coming to me.  October 1st I head to Vermont for 9 glorious days.  Cannot WAIT!  I am taking my bestest girlfriend from high school. A GIRLCATION, if you will.  Fun will be had! If you have read any of what I have ever written, likely you have run across a post or two about my love for all things Vermont and New England.


So I am happy to be meeting Autumn in Vermont this year.  And New Hampshire.  And Massachusetts. And Connecticut – were we will visit Mystic AND get to spend a little time with another friend of mine.  It will be a trip to spawn many a post :)

Have a lovely Sunday.  Remember to rest a little today. Maybe a nap???

Love and Peace to you all.